What if I object No!
he objects he rises againscreeching with temporary madness
spilling over with panic
like lava love
brimming with remorse
pyroclastic noise and chasm-deep
fury fear
pink embers burning my skin my eyes
all that he loves will sting at first
as ash builds slowly intensely, painfully
from the outside in from the inside out
quieting, breathing then a mother’s arms will cool
until warm again to touch while I taste our tears
and forgive again again and again
Today's poem is called a "cleave" poem. It's meant to be read as two separate vertical poems and a third poem when read horizontally. I hadn't heard of one until today. If you are interested in learning more about these poems or the April NaPoWriMo Challenge, check out http://readwritepoem.org/blog/2010/04/14/napowrimo-14-you-want-me-to-write-a-what/
You have written and excellent cleave poem about a very difficult subject.
ReplyDeleteI think you've done a great job with the prompt. Well done.
ReplyDeletehttp://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com
I really like all 3 of your poems. It's amazing how you can read each one separately and get different impressions and then read it all together and feel the unity in the piece. Love the visual fissure between the poems!
ReplyDeleteNice job!
~Mark
This is a difficult subject and you've written an excellent cleave poem! Well done!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. The sort of thing the form was intended for.
ReplyDelete(I shall now take my stickfigure poem and hide in the closet) :)
Wow. I think you captured the essence of the moment well -- both halves fit together nicely, yet each stand alone. Well done.
ReplyDelete-Nicole
Fantastic, this suits the form really well.
ReplyDeleteWonderful job with this puzzle of a prompt, and with one of the most challenging topics one can imagine. Courage and skill went into this!
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone. I sooooo appreciate your encouragement. A lot.
ReplyDeleteReally powerful and well-done--you really know how to make this form sing(:
ReplyDeleteI like what you've done here with a difficult prompt.
ReplyDeletehttp://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com
from Therese B -- one of the best cleave poems I've seen. The form and content work superbly well together. The meaning of "cleave" in the context of mother/son is very profound. Great job.
ReplyDelete