You torture me
as you fumble
with your good intentions
using your morning fingers
to find the little button on the back
and slide it to the left
(or is it to the right?)
to give yourself a little more,
while I strain to keep a grasp
of the trails of my
evaporating story
in the early dark in-between
every 9 minutes.
We're coming to the end of NaPoWriMo-just four more days! Today's prompt "Get Scrappy" suggested we use some old material to write today's poem. Since I have nothing old, I went with something new.
We're coming to the end of NaPoWriMo-just four more days! Today's prompt "Get Scrappy" suggested we use some old material to write today's poem. Since I have nothing old, I went with something new.
really enjoyed how you broke this up:
ReplyDelete"I strain to keep a grasp
of the trails of my
evaporating story
in the early dark in-between
every 9 minutes."
These are exactly my sentiments!
Good stuff!
~Mark
Excellent work Marie.
ReplyDeletePamela
LOL. I laughed in awareness of ohhhh yeah.... when I read this:
ReplyDelete>>>>> You torture me
as you fumble
with your good intentions >>>
Exceptional... and who knows, perhaps a future scrap or two may be found here?
Read my Day 26 poem here:
You are right about finding scraps here. I plan to revise some of my April poems when this is over. Maybe this one will make the cut. Either way, I will have some scraps! Thanks to everyone who has read and commented on
ReplyDeletemy poems. It has been a wonderful experience to give this poetry thing a try.
First class writing!
ReplyDeleteI like this one... I don't think it needs much revision at all. I've been in that place holding onto the nine minutes quite often :).
ReplyDeleteyes can very much relate to this feeling =)
ReplyDeleteThe snooze button is a blessing and a curse but those extra minutes are GOOD!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the previous comments-- the "scraps" here work so nicely as a whole, and your use of line breaks in this one are evidence of this!
ReplyDeleteMakes a nice lesson in how to break up lines effectively. Lovely piece.
ReplyDeletefrom Therese B -- nice contrast between the relaxation of "snooze" and the effort of "torture" and "strain." Every 9 minutes -- for some reason, that numeral 9 seems to have extra power to it...
ReplyDelete